Now

Now as a freshman in college, I have taken a much needed break from social medias. By no means am I a completely different person than the girl I described in my previous posts, but I have learned a lot. Self worth is something that should be taught from a young age, not dieting. Confidence should be encouraged and developed, not eating disorders.

My biggest struggle is rebuilding my relationship with food: knowing and believing that it’s fuel and not evil. I don’t even know if I would call what I went through an eating disorder, but whatever it was, it is something I think about and deal with today. Fighting against your brain is tiring. It’s a process, and one that I have become way more open about and as I have, I’ve realized that many of my friends have gone through or are going through similar things. A lot of them are fueled by social media and diet culture online.

Being in college and being in charge of all my meals and snacks and desserts scared me at first. The “freshman 15” TERRIFIED me. But having friends who were EXCITED about food and were CONFIDENT not only in their bodies, but in their MINDS pushed me to want to be like them. There is so much more to life than calories and no time to waste on tears if the number changes on the scale. What really matters is what is behind the insecurities and lack of confidence and that is a young woman who is proud of everything she is and everything she will become.